Soi 2 Clubbing 101

Ten things to note about celebrating your birthday at a Soi 2 club on Saturday night:

1. Bring ID. It is not very complimentary that the Isaan bouncers think you look below 20 on your 30th birthday.

2. No slippers. Big fashion faux pas that will get you thrown out with the underaged drinkers.

3. White on white. You can only pull it off if you're tanned and reasonably sexy. Remember George Hamilton. Watch out for skid marks from dirty bars and food poisoning.

4. Don't stand at the bar. Don't stand in the middle of the people intersection. Don't stand near the stage. In fact, don't stand anywhere if you can help it.

5. The music will always suck. Get over it.

6. Eliminate the use of voice for communication. Practise speaking with your eyes.

7. People with multiple body piercings and body fat above 9.65% should be barred from dancing barechested on stage.

8. Drag shows rock. Esp fat Northeastern katoeys making papaya salads on stage.

9. Roboman/mirror/voguing/chachas are quite, quite out of date.

10. Have a great time!