Dogs are bad.

I have to admit some truth in this report. Although my bed is still full of his fur and my closet filled with half chewed Prada shoes, our house is kept rat free and guarded against junk food.

In tribute to my loving companion, here are some quick dog jokes.

What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him out for a drag

Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the crap out of their dogs

And:

A man takes his Labrador to the vet.

"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"

"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"

So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."

"What? Because he's cross-eyed? "

"No, because he's really heavy"