Hotels guide

Found this list of words used in hotel descriptions that can be very useful! Wish I read this before booking my recent 3 nights at a "Private Hotel" in "colourful Chinatown" in a "deluxe cosy room far from street noise" which turned out to a closet with no windows and a noisy AC.

Hotel Description = What it really means

Old world charm = No bath

Tropical = Rainy

Majestic setting = A long way from town

Options galore = Nothing is included in the itinerary

Secluded hideaway = Impossible to find or get to

Pre-registered rooms = Already occupied

Explore on your own = Pay for it yourself

Knowledgeable trip hosts = They've flown in an airplane before

No extra fees = No Extra Service

Nominal fee = Outrageous charge

Standard = Sub-standard

Deluxe = Standard

Superior = One free shower cap

Cozy = Small

All the amenities = Two free shower caps

Plush = Top and bottom sheets

Gentle breezes = Occasional Gale-force winds

Light and airy = No air conditioning

Picturesque = Theme park nearby

Open bar = Free ice cubes

Concierge = Stand with tourist brochures

Continental breakfast = Free muffin