Biological destiny

Seriously... do you expect me to enjoy having relations with this lady?

Peering into (not at) the vagina of an obese person can be a bit tough, but eventually an inspection revealed a crinkled, shiny wad waaay up there. My colleague removed it, then unrolled it to reveal a snack-size Doritos bag (original style, with a few strands of cheddar-based mucus clinging to it).

When confronted with the evidence, the patient giggled and claimed she suddenly remembered a drunken fuck with her boyfriend where no condoms were available, so he grabbed the nearest snack wrapper at hand and went for it. Not exactly a James Bond kind of move. The bag apparently slipped off his cock after a few strokes and got pounded into a compact mass during the sex, subsequently drenched by his ejaculate and marinated in her own secretions and soothing Dorito oils. Afterwards they passed out and forgot the whole thing, until the aforementioned fucked-up feeling brought her to us.

Sorry.. I prefer Pringles.