China oddities - Part 5

Me: Hi, I'll like to apply for Internet Banking facilities

China Merchant Bank (CMB): That's nice. Where is your ID?

Me: But I'm already a customer. Don't you have my passport details?"

CMB: No passport, no internet banking

Me: My passport is at the exit permit office. I've applied for a residence permit and it will take 7 working days!

CMB: No passport, no internet banking.

Me: I can show you a photocopy of my passport.

CMB: No passport, no internet banking.

Me: Or the receipt from the exit permit that is evidence of my application?

CMB: No passport, no internet banking.

Me: Can I show you my Singapore ID instead? It will prove that I am who I am.

CMB: No passport, no internet banking.

Me: Why do you need ID anyway? Isn't it an extension of your banking facilities?

CMB: No passport, no internet banking.

Me: Then where is the convenience offered by your Internet Banking facility? Where is the customer service? Is this the way you treat your customers? Do you pretend to even call yourself world class? How do you propose to satisfy the more demanding Hong Kong account holders once your bank completes its acquisition of Wing Lung Bank. I will rather die than place another lousy stinking RMB with your so call international bank. You can just take this bureaucratic BS and stuff it up your smelly tight XXXXX!!!

CMB: No passport, no internet banking