Bonjour France!

In preparation for the impending trip to the land of ham, cheese and vin, I post for my own record an article on French food by a comic genius in a utterly detestable persona.

An idiot's guide to French cuisine - by Mr Bean

So the only mystery about French food, as far as I'm concerned, is why anyone eats half the blooming stuff. For a nation that gets so much right; art, culture, crochette, culottes, how does it get so much wrong? Driving on the wrong side of the road and stinky cheese, for instance. The country's knee-deep in cheese and it's really not anything to write home about. Try this at home if you've got the stomach for it (Gordon, get out that pen and paper):

Stinky French cheese
1. Take an ordinary piece of English (non-smelly) cheese.
2. Prepare a smelly sock by wearing it for two or three days.
3. Insert cheese into sock.
4. Leave in sunny spot in the garden for a week.
5. Remove cheese from sock with gloves and tongs before serving, and enjoy friends' comments such as: 'Hey, this cheese really stinks. Is it French?'